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How to become a happy person

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March 20 is International Day of Happiness. The concept of human happiness is studied by philosophers, psychologists, theologians, physiologists - all sciences explain this feeling in their own way, but they agree on one thing - to learn to be happy is quite real.

Research groups at Harvard and California universities believe that happiness is a virus that lives by all the laws of an infectious disease. According to them, if around a person there are friendly and smiling people, then this attitude is transmitted to him. In particular, a person’s chance of becoming happy increases by 25% if his best friend is happy.

But physiologists believe that happiness depends on hormones - endorphin, serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin eliminates depression, improves mental abilities, is useful for internal organs, and improves the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But serotonin works in close association with dopamine, the hormone of pleasure, and with GABA, which is responsible for the relaxation process.

The lack of even one of these substances affects the mood, depriving a person of a sense of happiness. To prevent this from happening, you can make small adjustments to the diet by increasing the doses of certain foods:

  • Serotonin - found in eggs, low-fat cheeses, poultry, avocados.
  • Dopamine - found in fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
  • GABA - found in eggs, dark green vegetables, seeds, nuts, potatoes and bananas.

But happiness is not only in good and good food, but also in a good mood, a positive outlook, lack of stress, anxiety and anxiety, as well as psychological and physical health.

How to learn to be happy?

  • Do not envy or compare yourself with others. It is very important to learn to be content with what you already have, to appreciate it and enjoy it, without ceasing to strive for more. Someone else's victories and blessings of life should not cause anger and irritation, but motivate and inspire. The desire to keep up with the others is one of the main enemies of happiness.
  • Do not stop there and constantly set new goals, let them be global, for example, build a house or visit an exotic country, and everyday, for example, pass a report or start going to fitness. Remember that becoming a doctor, raising a child or making soup is all a goal.
  • Do not regret anything. If something has already happened, then this cannot be changed. To think about what could be changed in the past is absolutely useless; it is better to concentrate on what can be done in the present and in the future.
  • Make decisions yourself and be responsible for them. No one except you knows what is best for you. Of course, advice is sometimes worth listening to, but try on your life only for yourself.
  • Learn to relax, because rest and pleasure are an important component of truly happy people. Do not sacrifice rest for work or money - the first will always be a lot, and the second - not enough. Try to arrange regular holidays with a rich program, do not forget about the daily rest, which includes not only sleep and leisure, but also a banal “doing nothing”.
  • Learn to forgive and forget resentment. After all, keeping negative emotions in yourself is the same as drinking poison, but thinking that he will poison someone else.
  • Do sports, fitness, regularly do gymnastics, or at least just walk a lot. It is proved that during physical activity the brain absorbs more oxygen, and “hormones of joy” (dopamine, serotonin) are formed in the body, which increase mood for at least 4 hours.
  • Keep track of health, after all, any disease is a poor state of health and a breakdown, and it is much easier to prevent it than to spend energy, time and money on treatment.
  • Eat right, try to learn how to avoid unhealthy foods, such as fast food, but still enjoy the food. Not a single diet has made a person happy, but a delicious dinner can very well improve one's mood.
  • Learn to love yourself, respect and value every daythus balancing healthy selfishness with the right self-criticism.
  • Smile, even if there is nobody to smile. Physiologists call the smile a button of good mood, joyful facial expressions remove muscle clamps and stimulate the parts of the brain that are responsible for good mood.
  • Surround yourself with positive - positive books, films, beautiful things, for example, flowers, photographs or dishes, listen to good funny music.

AiF.ru collected 8 statements of famous people about happiness. Try to guess which famous writers and philosophers they belong to >>

Expert Commentary

Psychologist Anna Khnykina:

- Usually, the feeling of happiness lacks the ability to feel satisfaction. No matter how much a person gives a person blessings and pleasures, it’s all wrong, not so little. This happens - it is precisely the inability to be satisfied, to be satisfied, that prevents us from enjoying life. By the way, the ability to be happy is laid in the first year of life, along with we understand the following things: mom is mine, mom loves me and is happy, mom always has enough milk for me and she likes to feed me.

A sense of happiness is also hindered by a biased attitude towards life, in other words: “there must be such and such.” The pursuit of a pattern does not bring satisfaction. In general, happiness is more of a feeling of fullness, rather than “hitting the target." When the soul is not empty, but just the opposite. This, in fact, is - inner wealth.

Feeling of happiness is greatly facilitated by a feeling of gratitude. In a difficult moment of life, it’s useful to just think about who you are thankful for and for what. This greatly strengthens faith and spirit, contributes to well-being.

My main recipe for happiness was given to me by my mother, who had been ill with blood cancer for 7 years. She told me: “People with disgusting health and disabilities find reasons to rejoice, meanings, motives, reasons to act. You have two arms and two legs, your vision, hearing, and so on works great. Therefore, you simply have no right not to be happy! ”

This is my recipe for life. As long as we have health, it’s a sin to murmur.

Barriers to Happiness

  1. Mental trauma. In the life of everyone there were events that had a very strong negative impact. You can forget about them, but they will still remind of themselves until a person decides to eliminate them.
  2. Resentment. They can accumulate - as a result, small grievances turn into great indignation.
  3. Fear of change. Psychologists usually suggest that the greatest desire come true right now. Is a person always ready for this? Generally not. Routine sucks, and in the end, we simply avoid positive changes.
  4. Bad habits. Excessive drinking and smoking are naturally bad habits. But also the habits of scolding yourself and doubting your every step very negatively affect the quality of life.
  5. Stereotypes. There are certain stereotypes in the society, moving away from which a person hears reproaches and discontent in his address. As a result, a person goes to an unloved job, communicates with people uninteresting for him, does not live in the place where he dreams of living. What's the point of this? It is important to understand that reproaches and grievances will not last forever, and happiness and satisfaction with life will remain forever.

Step by step recipe for happiness

  1. Fight stress. It is necessary to distance oneself from negative situations - try to turn on the TV less, not communicate with pessimistic people. Also, do not "hide your head in the sand" and hide from problems. Speak, cry, share problems with relatives and friends. If necessary, you can even turn to a psychologist, since it is dangerous to be alone with your thoughts. Assess workload at work, school, household chores. Everyone should devote time to rest, without it it is impossible to work productively. Do not be afraid to delegate authority and do not sacrifice sleep for important tasks.
  2. Chat with friends. Gatherings with loved ones make a person much happier. You can form a tradition - every Saturday to visit each other, go to the cinema together, find your favorite cozy cafe.
  3. Accept the situation. It is important to be able to thank fate for what is. Good health, the opportunity to get an education, parents and a loved one - this is not everyone has. Develop gratitude - to say "Thank you" to the saleswoman, the bus driver is not at all difficult.
  4. Solve problems. If there are a lot of problems, it is quite difficult to be happy. It is necessary to step by step find solutions, how to become happy and loved, to analyze the situation from all sides. If marriage does not bring more happiness, you should consult with a psychologist, read books or listen to lectures on family relationships.

Look for yourself

Problems at work - a small salary, lack of respect from the authorities, there is no pleasure and prospects. Is this not a reason to find yourself in another matter?

  1. Look for the real self. Each has its own abilities and talents. A person cannot be completely happy if he does not realize them. Do not wear masks -
    listen to yourself, change your unloved work, look for an environment that is close in life principles. How to become rich and happy - find yourself.
  2. Develop positive thinking. It is worth paying attention to the pleasant aspects of life, and not just not the negative sides. In difficult situations, treat what is happening with humor.
  3. Set a goal. Without a goal, the existence of a person can hardly be called complete. It is important to find a business that makes you move forward. If a person has a dream - a new car, it is worth putting aside at least a little every month. Someone wants to travel all his life, so it's time to start learning languages ​​and making a passport.
  4. Fulfill your desires. Often, married women and having children forget about themselves, not thinking about how to become happy and cheerful, limit themselves to clothes, cosmetics, delicious food and even a costly hobby. This is often an unnecessary sacrifice. Becoming a happy wife is a crucial task. It is more pleasant for children and husband to see a woman happy and satisfied than loaded with problems and unhappy. This applies not only to women who cannot become a happy wife. Many people develop a victim complex within themselves. Believe me, no one will appreciate it.
  5. Look for a hobby. Social networks and TV are killing time; instead, it’s worth doing self-development. Reading, sports, drawing, dancing, yoga - the list is endless for every taste.

What needs to be done to become happy? The easiest way is to accept yourself as you are, to love life and become happy by loving yourself.

A man must live a full life, then he can become happy. The main thing is to take action and gradually move to happiness.

Introspection

If a person is satisfied with himself, he will not make a claim to the whole world. Often, dissatisfaction with others is a hidden dissatisfaction with one's own behavior.

What we say to othersQuestions we need to ask ourselves
I am tired of this!What am I tired of in myself?
The whole world annoys me!What annoys me in myself?
Do you understand me.What I don’t understand in myself?
Get a hold of yourself.What do I need to take control of?
You do not love me.What do I not like about myself?
How dissatisfied I am with someone!What am I unhappy with myself?
How tired I am of life!Why am I tired of myself?

Truly harmonious individuals understand that the responsibility for happiness and attitude to life lies only with themselves.

Books about happiness

It so happened that the question of happiness is often asked by the fair sex. After all, there must be a way to learn how to become a happy woman. And then books help to understand oneself. Artistic or psychological - it doesn't matter. The main thing is that they find a response in the soul and make you look at the world in a different way.

  1. Osho is a sage from India, a spiritual leader and a mystic. His views on life can be shocking, but his statements about happiness have helped many to live a full life, while maintaining kindness in the heart. His book “Joy. The happiness that comes from within ”is based on the conversations of the sage. It challenges a society whose morality is based on suffering, showing a different outlook on life.
  2. Dale Carnegie, famous psychologist and best-selling author. His book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" calls for getting rid of everything that prevents you from enjoying happiness.
  3. Daniel Keyes and his book “Flowers for Algernon” in Russia, not everyone knows, and in America the book is included in the compulsory school curriculum. The book allows you to think about how important it is to remain yourself. She also touches on the topic of immorality of experiments on people.
  4. Elionor Porter wrote the book "Polianna" about an optimistic little girl who can see in people only the good. Polianna “plays in joy”, teaching other people how to play. Its meaning is to find advantages in each situation. Is this what all the psychologists of the world teach us?
  5. His Holiness the Dalai Lama, together with American psychologist Howard Cutler, published the book “The Art of Being Happy. A guide for life. ” It was created for those who do not have prejudices against Eastern techniques and the Buddhist approach to life. Even if there are prejudices, they must disappear after reading this book.

Conclusion

Answer the question “What is happiness?” »Philosophers, psychologists, writers and poets have been trying for many years. Many agree that a happy person strives for virtue. A harmonious person cannot commit evil deeds, so it makes sense to seek happiness.

The pursuit of happiness is natural for man. Books, optimistic people around us, good films, hobbies, self-knowledge and self-development help us in this.

1. Approval of others

Who cares what they think of you? If you are happy with your decisions, you have made the right choice, and it does not matter what others say. Imagine how much effort you spend trying to read other people's thoughts, and still not guess.

Listen to advice - please, but do not let others decide how you live.

2. Anger and resentment

Anger destroys from within, so learn to put up with annoying people. This does not mean that you can let others use you, just not to bring to scandal. You just have to deal with the hatred, resentment and pain that remains inside. Remember: the one who is angry controls you.

Some relish their resentment as a gourmet dish, and this does not lead to anything good. Such feelings harm only you, not those to whom they are directed.

4. Dreams of a perfect partner

Each in his head has a set of qualities that an ideal partner should possess. But life usually spits on these lists.

To be happy, you must love a person with all your heart, feel easy and comfortable next to him, and he must accept you for who you are. At least the first two points coincided - well, you found what you need.

10. Stubbornness

It is difficult to admit that you were mistaken in something. It’s just that other people had more knowledge or ability to do something right. So stop resisting, just accept it as a fact. The less stubborn you are, the more open you are to something new. Think about how much you can experience and feel if you try to understand and accept someone else’s opinion other than your own.

11. Procrastination

Stop transferring tasks to tomorrow, live today. If you constantly put off a business, think about whether it is worth undertaking it at all? Maybe you do not need it? And if necessary, take it right now: constant procrastination causes feelings of guilt and stress. Is it worth it to suffer?

12. Baggage of memories

Do not drag along the baggage of memories, especially about past relationships. If you loved someone strongly or thought you loved, then you will subconsciously compare him with a new person who is not to blame for anything.

Making new relationships, get rid of old ones. Not only in life, but also in your head.

This is true for falling in love, and for all relationships in general: with friends, acquaintances, colleagues.

14. Condemnation

Since the world is a projection of our thoughts, we know for sure that everyone gossips about us (because we do it ourselves). Vicious circle: you will not be able to fulfill the advice number 1, that is, do not think about the opinions of others, if you yourself do not stop criticizing other people.

Just remember: you were not in their shoes, even if it seems to you that you were. Each one has his own cockroaches in his head, and in life his own circumstances, so tie up.

15. Envy

Social networks make people unhappy. We look at our former classmates, classmates and acquaintances and turn green with envy, feeling like a nonsense.

The next time you catch yourself on this feeling, think about this: “Would I like to become a person whom I envy?” Surely not, you love yourself (even if somewhere is very deep inside).

You look at someone else's life that you do not know. You can’t even imagine what this person is thinking. Может быть, когда он ныряет в бассейн своего частного дома, он ненавидит себя или чего-то дико боится? Может быть, вы, гуляя по лесу солнечным днём, испытываете куда больше удовольствия, чем он, нежась на белоснежном песке на Мальдивах?

Хватит смотреть на других. If you feel good now, then everything is right. If not, make it good.

16. Uncertainty

Happy people, as a rule, have a sense of self-esteem (just do not confuse it with a bloated ego). They are satisfied with themselves and radiate confidence.

There is no reason to doubt yourself. If you have traits that you hate, there are two ways: accept them or change them. Every person has everything at once: a libertine, a puritan, a lying scum, and a gentleman. You choose who you want to be.

19. Total control

Sometimes you just need to relax and let life take its course. You cannot control everything, and you have to come to terms with it. Otherwise, you will be constantly nervous, but in the end, still do not change anything. There are just things that are out of your control. They must be accepted as they are.

20. Expectations

People think that others must meet their expectations. That's bullshit. Nobody owes you anything, nor do you owe anything. No one should be polite, attentive, neat, honest, pleasant in communication, clean, after all. Nothing should be perfect, delicious, unforgettable, but it can be. If it is - excellent, if not - you will not be upset. Be prepared to accept everything that life sends you, and you will find happiness.

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