Sometimes we tend to think too much or get hung up on some things (which, incidentally, is just as bad as the lack of sufficient attention to a certain subject). This is like watering a plant: water is not enough - the plant dies, but an excess of water kills the plant, so you need to find the right balance. When we think too much about someone while waiting for a phone call, the minute turns into years, because we scroll through the head what your beloved does, who she is talking to, whether she was carried away by a new guy in a restaurant, etc. Negative scenarios pop up in my head one after another, events unfold, it absorbs us and causes a whole storm of emotions inside us. We do not understand what is happening. And when this happens again, and again, and again ... Excessive immersion in such thoughts, as a rule, negatively affects relationships, and as we all know, not a single relationship thrives on negativity. So how do you stop this development?
Question: How to stop obsessive thoughts?
Looping can endanger any relationship. And, even if you realize that this is bad - the flow of thoughts happens, it is very difficult to stop. The habit of over-analyzing does not contribute to a healthy relationship, so it is very important to understand how to get rid of it.
Here are 13 tips on how to stop re-evaluating your relationship:
1. Do not overestimate the words of your partner
“Sometimes people don’t know how to communicate and do not always say what they really mean,” explains celebrity relations expert and TV presenter Vicky Ziegler.
“Just because your partner doesn’t admit your love several times a day does not mean that you don’t have a relationship,” Ziegler says. “Stop getting hung up on certain words, better ask your partner about it.”
4. Ask yourself: “Maybe I have too much free time?”
Maybe you are bored and need to occupy yourself with something?
Rory Sassoon, a relationship expert and CEO of Platinum Poire, believes that: "Hobbies, passion or something like that will help you focus on yourself."
You will become so busy that you will stop thinking too much about your relationship.
5. Clarify what you want from a relationship
Frequent thoughts about relationships and your partner are a sign that you don’t know what you really want and don’t get what you need.
“Once you have clarity about what you need, you can pinpoint what you are missing in your relationship,” explains Laurel House, dating and relationship coach and lead podcast for Man Whisperer. “You can talk about it with your partner so that he also has clarity about what you need.”
7. Always say what you think.
You do not need to read between the lines to understand the needs and intentions of your partner, so do not ask them to do the same.
“You will find that the more you model a direct connection, the more they will reciprocate,” says O’Reilly. “You can listen to what they say and trust them, instead of analyzing and looking for hidden meaning in their words.”
11. Go somewhere for the weekend
Breathe in fresh air, with or without your soulmate.
“Your mind will become clear and you will be able to focus on life at the moment. If you travel without your partner, you will miss him and think about good times, rather than thinking about stupid things, ”says Metzelar.
12. Focus on the positive.
Be thankful for the good things that your partner does for you, and try not to focus or overestimate the little things that he does not.
“By practicing this, you will remain in a state of happiness and stop analyzing your relationship,” says Ziegler.
Locked on a man does not allow to be happy
When a woman is obsessed, she cannot even think that there are a huge number of men on the planet, there are billions of them. And that of these billions of men, at least there are hundreds of thousands that are much more interesting, attractive, maybe richer than the one who is currently next to her.
The main problem is that being in this state, the woman does not perceive the man adequately. She idealizes him. She thinks that the Earth will stop without him, she thinks that without him she will not be able to live a day, that he is better than anyone, that he is the closest and dearest. She constantly thinks about him, almost every second. In a word, she loves him, and cannot live without him.
Yes, love is a beautiful feeling and it is similar to that described above. But still, here we are talking more about fixation than about love. True love does not bring suffering, because it differs from passion in its calm joy and sunny happiness.
And what is described above is looping. And while a woman is so fixated on a man, she will not have a happy relationship with him. Because there will be no harmony and joy in the soul, but only fear and tension. And which man would like to live next to a tense woman clinging to him?
As long as the woman is fixated like this, she will not be able to adequately evaluate the man or adequately communicate with him. She will constantly swing on an emotional swing and in her life there will be neither female happiness, nor reciprocity.
What can help?
Only a reversal to the other side and communication with other men can help. We are not talking about very close relationships. The point is that you must be able to create a stream of men around you, from which you will already choose the best. And choosing, do not forget that in addition to him, there are many, many other men. And do not be afraid to lose it, and do not cling to it and just be what it is.
Even if you now have a break in relations and you want to return your man (by the way, it is quite possible to do this, read the article about this "How to return the former") . Even if he is the most beloved, dear and unique for you. Even if you are a very decent and modest woman. Only a stream of acquaintances and communication with other good and high-quality men will help you become beloved for the man you need.
Quite often in life you can observe such a picture. The man has left the woman or is openly cheating on her, but she continues to sit and wait, not letting other men in and not even turning in their direction. Believing that with her loyalty, devotion and good behavior, she can prove something to a man. Some women sit like this for years! And the man at this time lives perfectly, communicates and even marries other women. And around the waiting woman a certain vacuum forms, a void, which she fills with her tears and expectations. Instead of looking around and seeing how many other men are no less good.
Self-esteem falls below the plinth. The right man is in no hurry to return and confess to eternal love. Because that which nobody needs is not necessary for him either. Read more about the psychology of men in the article "How to make a man run after you."
When you have a “flow” - your self-esteem will rise to heaven, your ability to communicate with men will increase, you will have ease in communication, good mood, joy, energy and drive. And with your “target” man, everything will turn out easy!
Of course, only the flow will not make you beloved and will not solve all the problems - but this is the first, mandatory step in shaping your happy personal life, without which nothing will ever work out in a relationship with the right man. Only a stream of acquaintances and conversations with different men! Of course, you should not surround yourself with low-quality men, various gigolos, sissies or psychopaths. Send such men immediately back home. Create a stream of cool worthy men. Open to meet them, communicate both on the Internet and in real life.
And even more so, if you are in a search, then the flow is what helps you quickly find a good man. Do not sit alone, closing yourself from all in anticipation of your only one. Chat with men, flirt, meet and then the right man will certainly appear.
Well, if you already have a worthy man and you are truly happy with him, then you understand that without true freedom there is no true love. And you enjoy each other’s company without attachments, expectations and fixation.
Be loved, happy and joyful!
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